Afew days ago, I really really wanted to blog. But laziness overwhelmed me so much that I gave up in the end. It always happens. I think I want to blog only when I am trying to send a certan message across to somebody, or when I feel really really down. It kinda happened a few days ago, but it affected me for afew hours and tadah its all gone. I guess its the jittery kinda feeling that I felt, fear. Fear of being hurt, fear of history repeating, fear of being able to actuallly predict whats gna happen next. I guess some things stay, aye? Its not possible to just wipe out a certain part of the memory just like that.
I felt happy, sad, afraid, puzzled, annoyed......... All of it. Every emotion that flowed within me was different. But the strongest one was confusion. I guess Im wavered, no longer as certain that whatever was wrong was actually right, no longer stubborn in persisting in what will never happen. I THINK I really grow from each lesson, but a part of me says...
Alright unhappy things aside, the long awaited celebration for beloved miss shirley tan has finally come to a conclusion ! Undoubtedly she spoilt my surprises several times but I still had fun trying to trick her, lie to her, and plan lots of things. All started out on friday night, when I met her for dinner at town after my casting at mediacorp. ( btw it was only then I realized how freaking inconvenient it is to reach mediacorp without taxi/car wtf I walked in -.- ) I didnt tell her where we were going for dinner and TADAH she was totally surprised that its the place she wanted to go to, of which name she didnt even know in the first place ( but I managed to find out HEHEHE ) ! :) Mini shopping and looking at stuff after that, while I made use of the opportunity to dig into her wallet to find out her full address LOLOL. Dinner was accompanied by present opening, of which many of them were empty ( I spent damn long wrapping empty presents JUST THINK HOW HARD IT IS TO WRAP NOTHING LOL ) and it was damn funny. She kept exposing me though zzz. Dinner was at the ship at shaw centre and I must say the food was pretty good ! I really liked my ala ship hahaha :D

Got a heart attack on saturday when I found out that cecilia and co bought lover a bag too. BACKPACK ALSO BLACK COLOUR ALSO OMG. If it was the same one I would have fainted.
We were supposed to appear at her place when she was about to leave for jp, but I didnt expect her to leave so early when I said that I was still super far away-.- Ended up by the time mommy and daddy picked monsteryeo, korkor dearie and laoqian up from lakeside and we reached her place, she was already reaching jp omg-_- I wanted to die I swear but managed to trick her to come back cuz her board was way too big to be brought around. I felt damn retarded when I insisted on taking the lift that doesnt reach her house. LOL. She kept telling me that that lift doesnt go to her house but I said "nevermind just take la. try. " LOL thinking back makes me laugh cuz it was so goddamn dumb please its as though she never knew that the lift can lead to her house while I do. LOL. She got in anyway, together with sharon and tadah there were the guys with my brownie cake with love :D

Heh sharon helped her to put her stuff, after which my "chauffeur" aka mummy and daddy ( I promised her there will be a chauffeur to pick her up from jurong SEE HAHA ) picked us up while the guys cabbed down to zoo. She didnt know where we were going cuz I refused to tell her, till daddy asked mummy "so where are we gg now" and mummy just blurted "zoo" out -_- LOL. Ohwell ! At least I kept the suspense for a longgggg time. Lots of animal photos and all, as we revisited the kiddy days when we visited the zoo on school excursions/for zoologist badge HAHA YOUNG SCIENTIST WTF. It doesnt seem as interesting as I last remembered it to be but ohwell pretty fascinating and such. Probably wont be coming back for what, another ten years? LOL. We were saying the last time we came was ten years ago, and the next time we go would prob be ten years later with our children. HA HA. RIGHT.

Laoqian left halfway cuz he had to bookin booo, but we continued, witnessed orang utans PEE OUTRAGEOUSLY. LOL. Super funny. Cabbed down to bei sheng restaurant and waited for them to open while we bridged at kfc. Miss bridge so much sigh those viwawa days. What happened to free times? ): Everyone's like so busy now I dont even dare to ask for bridge anymore. Lol. The dinner was supposed to be something lover liked cuz shes thai and I think we all did enjoy dinner. Super wuhua place and Im sharing it here ( though it might cause more crowd to their business leading to longer waiting time ):): ) ! We had like 2 WHOLE FISH, 1 hotplate tofu, 1 seafood tofu, 1 fried cuttlefish, 1 pineapple fried rice, and 1 tomyum soup, for only 60bucks-.- Practically one of the cheapest places in singapore you can find restaurant-standard food with AIRCON HAHA. Pays to have visited that place since young :D

Bus-ed down to town with the excuse of monsteryeo wanting to buy BAGUS BAG HAHAHHHAHAHA BAGUS, which he did really buy eventually so it wasnt really an excuse. We booked the harry potter movie tickets like 2 weeks back, but I kept lying to her that we would be watching it this week, so she didnt suspect at all, LOL. Sneaked off to collect the movie tics and we trained down to ps for free ice cream at swensens, claiming that theres aircon there so its more comfortable. Ended up the guys "said that they didnt feel like eating ice cream" so we went to the cathay to "buy movie tics for this week's harry potter" HAHA. I acted damn well I even complained about the guys being so fucked up and wasting our time travelling everywhere and deciding not to eat in the end, just so she would believe me. And tadah we walked into the cinema cuz I already got the tics and she was really surprised HAHA. Super funny LOL she keeps saying how she intended to go watch online if she really had to wait till later this week. Would I make you wait so long lover LOLOL

The show was quite awesome of course, I think nicer than the previous parts teehee, though I have no idea why people laughed at some parts that I didnt find was funny at all O.O LOL. Home sweet home after that after a day of running around trying to hide things from her plus surprise her and all :) I hope she did enjoy herself !
I had driving today with the same instructor I had three lessons ago and I felt pretty confident. Haven been to CDC for like 3 weeks already, and I have another 3 more lessons to go before my test on 6august. Super looking forward to it cuz I feel ready to be a driver already ! But then 6 august also means that its AUGUST BLAAAAAAAAA AUGUST IS EVIL
Met thea babe today for a casting and I must say, shes one of the few people in this industry that I have judged to be truly genuine. All these models, arent simple people. Selfish, scheming, cheap, arrogant, hypocritical... You name it, you got it. But not the good stuff. Some pretend to be nice to you, when they are actually just trying to show off-.- Some pretend to be nice to you, but dont eventually do anything to help you. Some pretend to be nice to you, when actually they are trying to seek something FROM you. Others cant even be bothered to be nice to you, they just act as though they are damn zai and high and mighty. Some stoop down to anything just to get what they want, while others dont have basic principles that they follow- They are willing to do just anything. There comes a time when you get pretty grossed out by everything and all these behaviour and you think like hey, maybe theres no one nice or genuine around. But then there comes the sibei nice rare one like thea ! Heh. I respect girls who take modelling as a sideline WHILE juggling studies. Or rather, at least complete your studies or something, instead of just trying to make use of your beauty ( or the lack of it in some sense ) to make up for what you simply cannot be bothered with. Its just... Gross.
And in this line being mixed blood/ caucasian is a freaking advantage. Maybe I should just say Im mixed. Like maybe my grandmother is some other race. Like anyone would know. LOL. But nah, ethics, though quite afew people say I look mixed nowadays :D:D:D Do I LOL. Mixed blood yeah- mixed blood types-.-
It kinda happens in every single relationship, with that I mean friendship and not bgr, where there are ups downs highs lows peaks bottoms... It wont stay stagnant. The passion and fire burns and slowly it dies down and bla.... It just never stops. :/ Kinda frustrating.
August makes me think of school. School is starting. Am I ready, or am I not?
I am so sleepy Im gna die. Its 1.33am now.
When nothing you do can change my mind. ♥ 11:00 PM